One Month With Mila


There really should be a way to pause moments in time that are too tender to move through so quickly. Having a newborn is one of those moments worth taking a pause during. A pause long enough to sleep aside your fresh baby for hours. A pause long enough to smell every inch of their soft body and silky skin. The moment your sweet baby is no longer a newborn sings the song of bittersweet. I truly can not believe an entire month has passed us by!

Our first month with Mila was spent cocooned in our city apartment ignoring everyone and everything. Dan and I turned it all off and focused on this time where we as parents were born again. We were born again only to find the most beautiful little girl waiting for us to gather her up and shower her with that fierce love only a parent can give. This first month was an emotional one as we navigated this journey with out Ryan by our sides. Yet, what an insanely epic feeling it is to know Ryan is beaming with pride from above. What a warm glow he offers upon his family . . . especially his little sister.

Mila. Little Sis. ‘My Beauty Girl’ is what I have taken to calling her. She is such pure joy. Those first few days at home Mila slept at all times. Only stirring awake to eat or peek at her new surroundings. I like to think Ryan spent some time with her in Heaven detailing his family. Telling her all about us and what was to come. She would take a few looks around to make sure Ryan was indeed telling the truth, then slip back into a sweet slumber. The bond my kids share is a surreal one. I’m feeling myself gain strength and fall in love with their relationship. It looks different than other siblings. However, I believe it shines bright like diamonds and will grow strong.

I want to try and remember as many details as I can. I want to engrave Mila’s newborn-ness into my brain. As her body grows I want to stop time as best I can and remember her as she is now. I tried to take a few photos of things that just melt my heart.

/ When I pick her up I first kiss her cheek or her tiny ear. Or I snuggle those soft rolls on her neck. Her mouth is delicious and begs for kisses.

/ One of the first things everyone notices about Mila are her extra long fingers. She shares those with her daddy and Ryan had them too. Whenever Mila nurses or suckles her pacifier she gently rests her hands on her chest. That is something I never want to forget.

/ Baby yawns are the best aren't they? Whenever Mila yawns I catch myself saying “Oh big yawn!” and poke my nose near her mouth to inhale that sweet newborn breath smell. I also love how her face scrunches up tight while yawning.

/ I refer to Mila’s belly button as her “Cinnamon Roll”. I just adore the way it curls in like a yummy cinnamon roll.

/ Although my children tend to look a lot like their daddy, Mila does have my long legs. I love how she brings them up like a tiny frog.

/ Also, Mila started smiling a few days after we brought her home from the hospital. I melt every time.


Sweet girl,

We love you so much. You have brought us so much joy and reinstalled a bright new light within our life. You’ve given us a breath of healing. We are so grateful you chose us.

Mommy & Daddy