Chai lattes also remind me of my son. I can still hear him say 'chai watte' and the memory pulls on my heart. This memory makes my heart feel heavy and sad, with a small smile. These coffee house runs are such good memories, I wish I still had him by my side when I walk to get one now.
Ryan and I would frequent coffee shops, our favorite being Starbucks. It was a special treat and Ryan would love coming with me. He would eagerly ask for a 'hot coc-wate', he would always ask for whipped cream and I would always turn him down.
You don't need the whipped cream, hot chocolate is enough.
OK! He would say.
He knew once he got the chance to go with my mom she would get him extra whipped cream.
As Abuelas (grandmas) always love to indulge in a little spoiling.
Ryan began to remember I always ordered a chai latte and at home he would pretend to make them for me. "Here is your chai mom with whipp ceeem!" As if he was trying to show me, look I get you whipped cream!
This morning I made a homemade chai latte and all these memories came flowing back. Like steam rising from a warm cup of chai, these moments rose up and swirled around in my mind. I closed my eyes and saw us walking hand in hand. Smiling at each other, me anticipating his requests. I'd open the door and he would run into line. I yearn for those moments again. I feel heavy and sad ... but I can't help but smile a small smile.
I'm thankful for these small moments with my son.
These small moments, thank God I have three and a half years full of them.
I love you Ryan.
I miss you Ryan.
I'm drinking my chai with you Ryan.
Chai Latte - Ryan's Chai Latte
What You Need
- 1 teabag of chai tea
- 3/4 cup boiling water
- 1 cup of almond milk (or whatever dairy you like)
- 1/2 teaspoon real vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- sprinkle of nutmeg or allspice if you are feeling fancy
What You Do
- boil your water and then turn the heat off and steep the teabag for no more than 3 minutes. If you steep longer than 3 minutes the tea starts to taste bitter.
- take your teabag out and pour in your milk. We love almond milk over here, but you can use whatever dairy you prefer.
- turn your heat back on and keep extremely low. At this point you just want to warm the chai latte to your liking. Add spices and vanilla, stir.
- once it is warmed through pour into a mug and enjoy.
- you can also let it cool and then pour over ice. (which is what i did this morning)
I hope you enjoy.
If you feel like sharing, I'd love to hear your favorite small moment that you have with your little one.