Addressing The Work I Need To Do To Help Dismantle Racism & Raise My Girls To Be Antiracist - Listing Resources I've Started With …

I’ve spent the last few days trying to wrap my head around the injustice and the overwhelming pain inflicted on our black community. There are millions of things being put out there right now from what is on the news, personal stories, scary images, inspirational quotes, colorful graphics offering ways to help, ways to rethink, ways to unlearn being racist. We are being inundated with a lot and rightfully so. Most everyone is grabbing at whatever they can, whatever that resonates with them, and sharing it with their family and friends. There is movement happening. I hope it keeps happening. Forcing us all, myself included, to continue to show up and do the work to become allies for our black brothers and sisters. To help dismantle our racist outlook and systems that oppress our black community.

Let me be clear by first saying that I don’t have all or even a good handful of answers. All I have really is my platform here and the deep want to speak up about the change we all have to do. It has become crystal clear to me that I have some intense work ahead of me. I’m stepping up and have begun to start the process of unlearning a whole heap of racist view points and identifying my white-washed privilege. Acknowledging this and saying it out loud makes me feel uncomfortable, though to really learn and grow you must get uncomfortable. I’ve started with these books; ‘So You Want To Talk About Race’ by Ijeoma Oluo and ‘What Lies Between Us - Journal + Guide Fostering First Steps Toward Racial Healing’ by Dr. Lucretia Carter Berry. I’ve also signed up for the #DoTheWork 30 day online course by Rachel Cargle. The online course is “designed to be an eye opener and a call to action for those who seek to be allies to black women.” You can learn a great deal from Rachel Cargle, click on her name to take you to her resources. If you feel lost and want to help, these resources are good to begin with. (Click on the titles below to learn more)

As a mother I am now devoting a lot of time into actively teaching my girls about race. Even baby Maya at six months old. I see now that these racist outlooks start when children are babies and I have to do everything in my power to counteract them. I’ll be sharing more on how I help teach my girls, but to start I’ve listed below the books we’ve purchased to help foster our learning and bring in more black color into our children’s library + coloring activities. My husband Dan and I have always been so open with our children and to our knowledge lead our family to be all encompassing. To love and support everyone no matter the color of skin. However, I’m realizing now that it just isn’t enough. Be Active. Those two words are ringing in my head and I’m bouncing everything I have off of them. How can I be more active?!

For starters my husband and I have spent a good amount of time researching the best place for our money to go. We’ve since donated to; Black Visions Collective, Movement For Black Lives, and Black Lives Matter LA. If you have the means the donate, please consider it. Though don’t feel guilty or like you can’t do much if you don’t have the means to donate. The important work here has to be done within yourself, and learning how to rework thoughts in your brain to support black people of color in addition to non-black people of color. And taking what you learn and talking about it with family and friends. I urge you to visit each of these sites linked above (just hover over the organization and click on it) and read about them and the work they do. Find similar organizations that are local to you.

Here are the words that screamed so loudly at me and rattled me to my core, “Check in on your black friends, family, partners, loved ones, and colleagues. This is an emotional and traumatic time for the community, and you checking in means more than you can imagine. Ask how you can provide support.” - Mireille Cassandra Harper

His name is Tre’. He is my second cousin and we grew up together. Since we were little we’ve gravitated toward each other and over our lifetime we’ve grown to call each other brother and sister. The word cousin just doesn’t seem to hold the weight we wanted to label our relationship with. He is my brother. We’ve shared small, tender moments as children. We’d have sleepovers and used to watch movies until 3am and challenge each other to see who could eat the most cereal. As we grew up we shared big, difficult moments. We’ve been through family deaths, family fights. We share blood, Tre’ is my family and one of my best friends. We know how to make each other laugh and also how to piss one another off. He is my daughter’s God Daddy. He is half black and I’m ignorantly learning now that his life, even with large parts weaved together with mine, is largely different than my own. I feel disgusted that it has taken me this long to say this out loud. I’ve relied on the fact that he and I are extremely close. He is in my children’s lives and we all adore him. I’ve rested on knowing that because I have black people of color in my family that I seemingly could never be racist. If you want the truth, that isn’t the case. Even as a Latin woman, I have white-washed privilege all over me and partaken in its benefits. Even though we grew up together, Tre’ has a life that is so much different than mine, and a lot more terrifying than I could ever imagine. With the recent killings of George Flyod, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery it has shone me that one of those deaths could have easily been my brother. That makes my breath catch in my lungs.

I’m taking a stand and starting the work to unlearn racist viewpoints, devoting myself to raising antiracist children for my brother Tre’ and for all my black brothers and sisters. Please join me. I’ll be sharing my journey here, in hopes of helping all families start the their own work.